Aerial View:

• Intro thoughts

• Mindful Minute: How it is versus how it should be?

• Conscious Consumer: Kono Nutrition Full Body Hydrate

• Quote of the week

• 3 key questions to reflect on

Welcome back fellas, I’ve been writing a lot lately. I am just realizing how much of an impact writing has had on my development as a man. I’ve been writing for over a decade, but if you asked me at any point up until last week, I’ve never considered myself a writer. I’ve never even included writing in my list of common activities when asked. Yet I write almost every single day. I’m not sure why that is the case, but I think every time I put pen to paper, I get closer to understanding it more, to understanding myself more.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about authenticity and style, particularly in regards to written word. I was in the middle of a workout the other day, and was between sets thinking about this. Then the words started coming to me, and I wrote most of this in that moment. And so, we shall jump in to today’s topic, all about acceptance, resistance, authenticity, and how we must strive to let our own individual styles shine.

Mindful Minute: How it is versus how it should be?

Something that’s been on mind a lot lately that I’m using to write today’s edition is a concept I’m referring to as the “how it is” concept.  

Take this newsletter for example. I’ve been trying so hard on it. To tidy up my thoughts. Simplify my stream of consciousness into written word in a specific way that I’ve thought of as “how it should be”. 

While I’m incredibly proud of the work I’ve put into these newsletters, I am going to step off the intensity pedal here and avoid working so hard to make them “perfect” in my eyes. It’s taking me away from my authentic style.

Think of great writers, Vonnegut, Shakespeare, Tolstoy- they all have their own style. They set the trend, and don’t follow. That’s what makes them unique and thus their work generational. 

I’m literally writing this from my parking lot as I lay down in the middle of a workout on a mat sprawled out on the asphalt. There is no way this SHOULD be. There is only what is.

And it is raw, real, and Dan. That’s why you’re here. You’re not here for idealistic concepts, you’re here to read MY truth and MY learnings.  You believe I have something decent to say, and thus subscribed to this newsletter. I’m just finally accepting this and tapping into the power that I believe will come with.

I’m not going to try and fine tune my words, consolidate to “flow better”, or look up ways to improve phrases. I’m just putting pen to paper and letting it rip. 

We get so caught up in how things should be that we automatically prohibit OUR originality from shining. We need more authenticity of “how it is” and less people pleasing of “how it should be”.

What are some of the reasons I suspect we fall into this trap?
 
The fear of ostracization is one. We are tribal creatures, and along our evolutionary journey, it’s obvious that we’ve progressed far past the ways of our ancestors. However, there are some ancestrally rooted survival methods we still tap into, including our reliance on tribes. Our ancestors needed to be part of the tribe to survive. If they were ostracized and kicked out of the group, they would have to fend for themselves. 

Back then, this usually meant death, as fighting off wild animals, braving the elements, etc. is much easier done in a pack than on one’s own. Strength in numbers.

And thus, ostracization = death. Again, although we’ve evolved, we still share deeply rooted DNA with our ancestors, and the old ways are still hardwired into our being.

The good news now is that we don’t have to fight off wolves, bears, or sabertooth tigers, so we actually ARE able to survive on our own (Survive, not thrive.) Isolation is dangerous and I don’t recommend extended periods of solitude, but being on our own for a while is not truly a threat to our immediate survival.

And so, we can work to consciously override our innate survival fear of ostracization. The worst case scenario is not what our primitive brains are tricking us into fearing and believing.

The next piece I believe plays a role here is simply the fear of embarrassment. This is tied into the above fear for the deeper implication, but our society has caused us to heighten this fear tenfold. The interesting piece here is that this worry is usually not actually driven by embarrassment of the action itself, but rather the possibility of failure associated and how that will make us look to others. But that possibility exists no matter which direction you choose, so why not risk failure on the things that feel more in alignment with your soul?

What are these words making you think of right now?
What particular situation in your life are you letting fear take the wheel on? 

Here’s a secret I’ll let you in on: your gut is right. Trust your instinct.

The first gut response or instinctual feeling you have will usually be the best choice. Why?

Because it’s authentically aligned with you and all that you are. The moment we let doubt and insecurity in and we start to overthink, we let fear win.

Doubt = fear

Instinct = love

We all need to strive to live and lead from a place of love, not fear. 

Next time you are faced with a decision, trust your gut, and see what happens. There are no sabertooth tigers lurking around the corner.

If you’re ostracized and ridiculed by your tribe, you’re in the wrong tribe, and this realization/learning is the most favorable outcome anyway, but that’s a topic for another day.

We need to walk away from “How it should be” and sprint towards “How it is” because that is where our true authenticity exists. That is how we let who we really are guide us.

I am vowing to do this and I challenge you to do the same. There’s a quote I stole from Aaron Rogers that I think applies wonderfully here:  “I shoot from the hip, and speak from the heart.” This quote lives on repeat in my head, and I default back to this when questioning my next steps and it always points me in the right direction.

The better version of you that lives in your mind is driven by intuition. Intuition leaves no room for second guessing, and as with anything, repetitions breed habits, and habits form foundations.

Repetitions on intuitive decisions lead to a foundation for deep rooted, ironclad confidence.

Repetitions on second guessing lead to perpetually questioning oneself and diminished levels of confidence.

Will you let things flow naturally and accept them for how they are? 

Or will you force them into how you’ve been conditioned to believe that they “should be”?

The choice is yours.

Conscious Consumer

Quote of the week

I have a deap-seated fear of being described this way: “He has so much potential.” I think it may be one of my biggest fears. So when I saw this Vonnegut quote recently, it stuck with me because it reinforced the work I do to combat that fear. Potential gone unrealized is a true shame. If you think you have potential, tap into it. You deserve it.

Rise and Reflect - 3 Questions to Inspire Impactful Action and Critical Reflection

1. What is an area of my life that I overthink my decisions on and prohibit my instinct from taking control?

2. Do I even know what my instinctual voice is? What situations do I feel most in tune with my instinct on? Am I spending enough time there?

3. Do I speak my mind enough? When responding to others, do I speak what’s truly on my heart and in my head? Or do I worry too much about how the words I say may impact others’ perception of me?

My Ask of You

If you found value in this newsletter, I ask that you please share it with others:

• Forward it: Send this email to friends, family, and/or others.

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• Invite others: Encourage those around you to subscribe here and join our community.

As leaders, it's our duty to help others. If you found this newsletter helpful, share it with someone who it may help. Change starts here, together.

Thank you for being here.

Sails up, eyes open.

Until next time,
Dan Baird